I think I've reached a stage in my life where... I'm just starting to hate everything. I was just sitting at home, Looking at some old photographs. Well, Basically reminiscing about old memories. And I just wish I could jump back in time when I was just a kid. So carefree d in and naive. I didn't have to be involved in anyone's bullshit, No one told me anything, Glad cause the truth always hurts, I never had to see the bad side in things, I was too young to understand, I could just sit there the whole day playing with my toys and nothing would bother me. I've realized that basically my whole childhood was a lie. The family was falling apart and I'm glad at that point, No one told me anything, I'm glad I was too young to understand. Cause if I DID understand, I wouldn't be alive right now. I would've jumped off a cliff, Knowing how irrational my thoughts would've been at that point of time.

But these photographs, Somehow... Doesn't carry the misery, It carries the happiness that lives within, A long long time ago, In every smile. Photographs don't carry the truth, Just an image with a thousand words.

I don't know where this is going... I just I'm just trying to say I really hate how everything has turned out. Not just with my family, It's about absolutely everything. And everytime I breakdown, I think about suicide. How things would be if I just disappeared? I mean, It doesn't seem like my presence is significant anyways. People are always walking out on me. How would things be if I never existed? Probably better. I guess I'm just a burden. My own father walked out of my life, Didn't fight for my custody at all but told everyone my mom was a whore and then fought with the law cause apparently 700 bucks was TOO MUCH to give me every month to fend for myself and now he's telling me that he promises, I would never get anything from him. Guess what, dad? You're right now, I never got anything from you, and I know I never will. I don't know why I still talk to you, I don't know why I still call you my father. It's a shame to be known as Cassandra 'DENIS' nowdays, Knowing the history behind that name, Where it came from. I call your phone just to hear another kid's voice at the end saying "Daddy, Who's that you're talking to?" , You bought me all my guitars but you've never ONCE heard me play for yourself. You got me an advanced piano tablature book for my birthday, Not knowing that I dont even know theory. Hell, You cant even remember my birthday. I can't believe I thought you actually gave a shit about me. You can't even spend more than 2 hours with me cause you're busy sucking everyone elses balls.























I wish I could just stop breathing.
I'm sorry.